


Spider-Man & Mary Jane: Meeting the Family

by d0d0bird



Series: Marvel: Tales to Tantalize! [47]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Peter Parker, BAMF Jessica Jones, BAMF Mary Jane Watson, College Student Mary Jane Watson, College Student Peter Parker, Dorks in Love, Embarrassed Peter Parker, Exposed Underwear, F/M, Gayle Watson is a Damsel in Distress, Humiliation, Humor, Insecure Peter Parker, Its Not a Literal Adoption But Still, Jessica Jones Adopts Peter Parker, Jessica Jones is a Good Bro, Madeline Watson Lives, Messy, POV Peter Parker, Pantsing, Peter Parker & Jessica Jones friendship, Peter Parker Actually Treats Mary Jane Like a Human Being, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker-centric, Situational Humiliation, Soaking Wet, Social Humiliation, Suspension, Wet Clothing, embarrassed underwear male, eum, wedgie, wedgies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:01:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27196180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0d0bird/pseuds/d0d0bird
Summary: Peter Parker and Mary Jane have been seeing each other for over a year now and MJ is getting ready to introduce Peter to her family. Unfortunately, this happens to be the same day Hydro Man is on the loose. Will Peter be able to make a good impression AND save the day as Spider-Man?
Relationships: Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson
Series: Marvel: Tales to Tantalize! [47]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1507763
Kudos: 4





	Spider-Man & Mary Jane: Meeting the Family

“What are you so nervous about?” asked Mary Jane, “You’ve met them before.”

“Yeah,” said Peter, “but back then I wasn’t dating you.”

“They’re not going to be weird about it,” assured Mary Jane, “Just treat it like a normal dinner.”

Peter and Mary Jane were sitting at the front of the restaurant, waiting for Mary Jane’s family to arrive. Peter and Mary Jane had grown up together, during which time Peter was being raised by his aunt and uncle while Mary Jane and her sister Gayle were raised by their mother Madeline next door. They had known each other’s families, since they had been friends since they were kids, but Peter hadn’t spoken to Gayle or Madeline in years.

“Peter Benjamin Parker!” announced Madeline as she strutted into the restaurant.

Madeline was a rather tall woman; she was where Mary Jane got her height. She opened her arms wide as she entered, beckoning Peter in for a hug. He smiled and leaned into the hug, feeling a little strange about talking to her after so long.

“Good to see you, Ms. Watson.”

“Hi Pete,” smiled Gayle, hugging him as well.

Gayle was Mary Jane’s sister and a little bit taller than her. She lacked Mary Jane’s bright red hair, instead having a short, tightly cut brunette haircut. She had occasionally played with Mary Jane and Peter growing up, although Peter was always much closer with Mary Jane.

“They said our table’s ready if we want to grab our seats,” said Mary Jane.

“Sounds good!” smiled Madeline.

The four grabbed their table and set about catching up as they ate. Peter made jokes about his job at the Daily Bugle, Mary Jane talked about the shows she’d been in, and they all reminisced about the days when they lived next door to one another.

“Oh we should have invited your Aunt May!” realized Madeline, “I’ll have to catch up with her another time. How is she?”

“Doing well,” smiled Peter, “I’m sure she’d love to catch up.”

“You know she told me she knew you two would get together,” said Madeline.

“Really?” laughed Peter, slightly uncomfortable.

“Well I brought it up first,” said Madeline, “back when you two were in high school. I turned to her one day and I said ‘Look what we’ve done. Now we’re going to be in-laws!’ And she said ‘If those two look after each other, we won’t have anything to worry about anymore.’”

Peter smiled. Then he turned to Mary Jane next to him, who was smiling too. Aunt May had said something similar to him when he told her he was dating Mary Jane.

“Now that you two are dating,” said Madeline, “Does that mean we should get ready to move Mary Jane’s stamp collection?”

“Mom!” gasped Mary Jane, blushing, “I don’t- That’s not-”

Peter turned to Mary Jane with a wide grin. Even he didn't know about this.

“Started collecting them when she was a kid,” said Madeline, “but she got really into it again after high school. Although that might have been an unemployment thing…”

“MOM!” groaned Mary Jane, “Come on!”

“What are you so worried about?” snickered Gayle, “Something tells me Peter won’t mind the fact that you’re a mega nerd.”

Peter chuckled. Although he had to wonder: if Mary Jane was a mega nerd, what did that make him?

“God,” sighed Mary Jane, burying her face in her hands, “It’s like you’re _trying_ to embarrass me!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” dismissed Gayle, “If we wanted to do that, I would have started by giving you a super wedgie.”

Gayle punctuated this by pantomiming the act of pulling up underwear. Mary Jane visibly winced in response. It was clear that this was no idle threat and that Mary Jane knew this from personal experience.

“Makes me glad I don’t have an older sister,” joked Peter.

“You don’t need one. You’ve got Jessica.”

“Who’s Jessica?” asked Gayle.

“Shoot,” whispered Peter, checking his phone.

“Something wrong?” asked Madeline.

“Uh, kinda,” said Peter, “I just got a text from my boss. He wants me down at the Bugle ASAP.”

“Oh come on, Tiger,” said Mary Jane, “Just this one time you can blow off-”

Peter showed Mary Jane his phone. He had it open to a news story about a giant monster made of water attacking Central Park. Mary Jane picked up quickly.

“Oh,” she feigned, “He _really_ means that, doesn’t he?”

“Sure does,” said Peter, “I’m sorry guys, but I’ve really got to go.”

“Aw,” frowned Madeline, “Sorry to hear that, Peter.”

“I might be able to make it back in a few hours,” suggested Peter, “MJ, do you want to maybe show them around campus? Hopefully I’ll be back by the time you’re done.”

“Good idea,” said Mary Jane, “See you soon!”

“Thanks!” called Peter as he ran off.

“Must be hard dating someone with such a demanding job,” said Madeline, “and on top of his schoolwork too.”

“You have no idea,” sighed Mary Jane.

***

“They didn’t consider changing the name?”

“What do you mean?”

“On account of the whole mass bombing thing.”

“Oh.”

Mary Jane and her family were standing outside Osborn Hall at the end of Empire State University’s campus. Indeed the building still bore the name of the man who became the Green Goblin.

“Well I heard his son is running the business now,” said Madeline, “and he seems to be doing a good job. Maybe you can pretend it’s named after him now.”

“Hey guys!” called Peter as he jogged up next to them, “Found you!”

Peter keeled over, resting on his knees as he caught his breath. The Watsons snickered. They had come to all be charmed by his physical ineptitude. This time however, Peter was mostly faking it to cover up his powers.

“Hey Tiger,” said Mary Jane, “Did you catch, uh, that story?”

“No,” sighed Peter, “I guess it… got away from me.”

“Sorry to hear that, Peter,” frowned Madeline, “Is your boss going to be mad?”

“He is most of the time, so probably,” shrugged Peter.

“MJ was just showing us Osborn Hall,” explained Madeline.

“You’d think they’d consider changing the name,” said Peter.

“That’s what _I_ said!” shouted Gayle, validated.

“Oh!” realized Madeline, “Is that Worthington Hall? I’d love to see what sort of building that family is investing in here.”

“Mom loves to keep up on celebrity gossip,” whispered Gayle.

“It’s not gossip!” insisted Madeline, “It’s current events! The Worthington family is always in the news.”

So the group made their way over to Worthington Hall. On the walk Peter and Mary Jane let themselves hang back a little bit.

“So he got away?” asked Mary Jane quietly.

“Yeah,” whispered Peter, “My punches and webbing wasn’t doing anything to him. Jessica says the Heroes for Hire have a lead on him though.”

“You okay?” asked Mary Jane in concern.

“Mostly,” said Peter, “I just wish my underwear wasn’t soaking wet.”

“What are you two doing?” asked Madeline, turning around.

“And why is your underwear wet?” asked Gayle, a slight look of disgust in her face.

“I have a perspiration condition!” blurted out Peter, “It, uh, makes my butt sweat. Now my underwear is wet. With sweat. That’s why it’s wet.”

Peter turned bright red. Mary Jane felt like she was going to die. Both Madeline and Gayle looked extremely uncomfortable.

“Really?” asked Gayle after a moment.

“It’s true,” said Mary Jane, hiding her annoyance with Peter, “Peter… has a butt sweat problem.”

“You should probably see a doctor about it,” suggested Madeline.

“I did,” spat Peter, “He said it’s… chronic. I’m going to be this way until I die.”

Now Peter really was sweating. He was truly horrendous at telling lies. It hadn’t been a problem before Peter had a social life. Now keeping his secret identity a secret was increasingly becoming a problem.

Peter felt his phone buzz. He checked it. It was from Jessica.

**JJ: good news got ahold of some info on our slippery friend**

**PP: What kind of info?**

**JJ: documents records shit like that**

**PP: Let me know where you are and I’ll swing by to pick them up.**

Peter didn’t like the idea of abandoning Mary Jane and her family again, but this new villain posed a serious threat. If Peter didn’t stop him someone would get hurt. He had to prioritize everyone’s safety over his personal life. It was part of being Spider-Man.

**JJ: no need im on campus**

**PP: Wow. Where?**

**JJ: behind the honors dorm**

“I’m so sorry everyone,” said Peter, looking up, “I totally left my dorm unlocked. I have to go back and make sure everything’s okay.”

“No problem,” shrugged Madeline, “We’ll come with you.”

“NO!” shouted Peter, “I mean… No, that’s really not necessary. My room is such a mess anyway. It’s embarrassing. No, it’s better if I go real quick and check myself. I’ll text you, MJ, okay?”

“Sure thing, Tiger.”

Peter rushed off toward the honors dorms.

“That boy always seems to have somewhere to be,” noted Madeline.

“You’re telling _me_.”

“Hey, where’s Gayle?”

Mary Jane looked around. She couldn’t see her either.

***

Peter made his way to the honor dorms, noting the pathway that led behind the building. He followed it, took a cursory glance to make sure he wasn’t being followed, and ducked behind the building. There he saw Jessica waiting for him in the shade of a familiar tree.

“This brings back memories,” mused Jessica, looking up at the tree branch she first found Peter hanging from.*

*Memories from as far back as [Jessica Jones & Spider-Man: Real Heroes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20905046)

“Why is it you only ever get nostalgic while making fun of me?” sighed Peter.

“Relax, dork,” smirked Jessica, handing Peter a binder, “Here’s the info.”

“There a reason we couldn’t do this in my dorm room?” asked Peter, awkwardly trying to hold the binder and flip through it at the same time.

“Sorry,” said Jessica, “Your roommate creeps me out.”

“That’s fair,” acknowledged Peter, remembering what kind of person Weasel was.

“The document you’re really going to want to look at is his profile in the back,” explained Jessica, “Got a name for your hydraulic foe: Morris Bench.”

“Another one of those risky experiments gone wrong?”

“Yup.”

“You’d think they’d stop doing those on people.”

“You’d think,” said Jessica, “I highlighted part of that that might help you.”

“...his _brain_ is still solid?” asked Peter.

“Sort of,” said Jessica, “Misty seemed to understand it a little better, but it’s more of a nucleus than a brain.”

“Still gross.”

“How’re you holding up?” asked Jessica, “Red’s family making this difficult?”

“No actually,” said Peter, “but I swear these soggy compression shorts are going to give me a rash.”

“Oh my God,” laughed Jessica, “You didn’t change your underwear?”

“There wasn’t time!”

Jessica laughed again. Then Peter felt a shiver down his spine as his spider sense went off. Someone was watching them. Before Peter could say anything, Jessica had reached over and pantsed him.

“Wow!” she guffawed, “They’re _really_ wet! Sucks to be you!”

“AHA!” declared Gayle, rushing around the corner, “Caught you!”

Peter’s pants were still around his ankles.

“Gayle!” squealed Peter, hiking his pants back up, “What are you-?”

“How heartless can you get!?” yelled Gayle, “Bailing on MJ and her family so you can get a BJ behind the dorms!”

“GROSS!” cried Jessica.

“What, no!” exclaimed Peter, “No, that’s not-”

“Then what are you doing back here?!” demanded Gayle.

“I think I’m going to vomit...” muttered Jessica, leaning against the tree and trying to forget the mental image of her giving Peter a blowjob.

“We- I-” stammered Peter, “Mary Jane knows about this, I swear!”

“We thought you were the perfect boyfriend, Peter,” said Gayle sadly, “This is going to break Mom’s heart almost as much as MJ’s.”

“But- This-” blabbered Peter, “I’m Spider-Man!!”

Peter clasped his hands over his own mouth. He couldn’t believe he had just said that. Based on the look on Jessica’s face, neither could she. Gayle just looked confused.

“I’ve had enough of this,” said Gayle, angrily turning away.

“Oh no you don’t!” called Jessica, leaping high up into the air and landing on the other side, blocking Gayle’s way out.

“What in the world!?” gasped Gayle.

“You’re not going anywhere until we’ve settled this,” said Jessica grabbing Gayle by the back of her jacket and carrying her over to the tree.

“Jessica,” groaned Peter as she hooked Gayle’s jacket to the tree and hung her there, “Is this really necessary?”

“You’re the jackass who just blabbed his secret identity!” growled Jessica.

“You’re kidding,” said Gayle, slowly swinging back and forth, “He was being serious?”

“Great,” said Peter to Jessica, “Now _you’re_ the jackass who- OW!”

Jessica had flicked Peter’s nose mid sentence. With Jessica’s strength, it was quite the painful flick.

Peter’s spider sense rang out again.

“Um… Guys?” asked Gayle nervously. 

Peter and Jessica turned around. Water was seeping out from under a manhole cover. The water was moving on its own and slowly assumed a humanoid form, but at about twice the size of any normal person.

“Holy shit,” muttered Jessica.

“You… Have… Something… That… Belongs… To… Me…” bellowed the massive figure, looking at Jessica.

“You let yourself get followed!?” cried Peter.

“I’m not used to checking for puddles, okay!?” cried Jessica back.

Peter, Jessica, and Gayle all cried out as the figure sent an enormous wall of water down on them. They all found themselves coughing and sputtering as Gayle was rinsed off the branch. Peter and Jessica looked over at the files Jessica had procured. They were all ruined by the water.

“Ha...Ha...Ha…” laughed the figure, “Now… No one… Can stop… Hydro-Man!”

“Hydro-Man?” groaned Jessica, spitting out water, “Do you have any idea how dumb that sounds?”

“Now… You’re… Turn…” said Hydro-Man enlarging his arm to enormous proportions.

Jessica acted quickly. She scanned over Hydro-Man’s body, looking for the nucleus. She couldn’t find it. His body must have extended down below the manhole. Jessica ran straight at the monster, leaping to the side to dodge his enormous fist as she did.

“Jessica!” cried out Peter in concern.

“Stay back!” cried Jessica.

Jessica was at the base of Hydro-Man now, eyeing the manhole cover. Dodging another punch, she stuck her arm into the man’s liquid body, grabbed the manhole cover, and pulled it out as she ran past him. Hydro-Man grew in size as more liquid came up from the open manhole. Then Jessica saw it. The dark red nucleus floating around in the body.

“Catch, asshole!”

Jessica whipped the manhole cover at the nucleus like a Frisbee. Hydro-Man shifted to the side, causing the manhole cover to fly harmlessly through his body and miss the nucleus. Then he looked to the manhole cover, his nucleus, and back at Jessica.

“You… Know…” he realized.

Jessica sneered back at him. Then Hydro-Man looked around. He reached an enormous hand toward Gayle and plucked her off the ground, allowing her to sink into his liquid body, floating around inside.

“No!” cried Peter.

“Don’t… Follow…” said Hydro-Man, “Or… She… Drowns…”

Hydro-Man then moved like a wave, racing along the ground and heading toward the center of campus. Jessica and Peter were left staring.

“I’m going to stop him!” declared Peter, reaching into his bag to get his spider suit.

“I’ll find Red,” said Jessica, running off in the opposite direction of Hydro-Man.

***

_Great,_ thought Spider-Man to himself as he leapt across campus, _Now MJ’s sister knows my secret identity AND she’s in danger. MJ’s going to kill me. And she’s going to be totally justified in doing so._

Spider-Man reached the top of Worthington Hall and looked out on the quad. Hydro-Man had reverted to his human form and was holding Gayle in a choke hold. Campus security had surrounded him and were trying to get him to stand down.

“Not one of you comes any closer!” shouted Hydro-Man, “Or I swear, I’ll go tsunami on her!”

“Easy there,” said one of the officers, “Why don’t we just-”

“FREEZE, DIRTBAG!” cried someone from the other side of campus.

Several heavily armed police officers had arrived and were all getting their weapons ready, pointing them at Hydro-Man. He spun around to show them Gayle, causing them to lower their weapons.

“That’s what I thought,” chuckled Hydro-Man, “I think I’ll make my exit now.”

Hydro-Man rose into an enormous tower of water, having apparently condensed a great amount of liquid into his human form. He was nearly two stories tall by the time he was done, with Gayle floating helplessly inside him, looking terrified as she flailed about.

_Shoot!_ thought Spider-Man, _I’ve got to do this quickly. Otherwise Gayle’s done for!_

“Hey!” called out Spider-Man, “Ugly! Over here!”

Hydro-Man turned to face him.

_Why does that always work?_

“Alright, big guy,” said Spider-Man slowly, “Why don’t you let the lady go, huh? She needs air and she’s no good to you dead.”

“Spider… Man…” muttered Hydro-Man, slowly reaching for the webslinger.

Spider-Man leapt away from the attack and landed on the other side of Hydro-Man atop Osborn Hall. Hydro-Man turned around to face Spider-Man again. That’s when Spider-Man saw Jessica leap onto Worthington Hall from behind, carrying something. Then he realized it was some _one_.

_MJ!?!_ realized Spider-Man, _Jessica, what were you thinking!?_

Hydro-Man was facing Spider-Man and slowly approaching Osborn Hall, but he was still directly next to Worthington Hll with his back to Mary Jane and Jessica. Mary Jane quickly got a running start and dove off the side of the building directly into Hydro-Man’s body.

“NO!” cried Spider-Man.

Spider-Man had no idea why Jessica and Mary Jane had done that, but there was no time to think. He fired a web onto a lamp post on the quad and swung down low before launching himself back up past Hydro-Man. Hydro-Man let out a roar as he took a haphazard swing at Spider-Man.

Spider-Man realized that with Hydro-Man’s attention focused on him, Mary Jane seemed free to swim around inside him. Mary Jane had reached Gayle’s unconscious body and was swimming toward the ground with her in tow.

_Of course!_ realized Spider-Man, _MJ, you’re a genius!_

Spider-Man continued to swing and leap around the quad, keeping Hydro-Man’s attention while dodging his attacks. Soon enough, Spider-Man saw Mary Jane splash out of the base of Hydro-Man’s body, rushing off with Gayle in her arms.

“Yes!” exclaimed Spider-Man, pumping his fist as he swung.

Then the web snapped, severed by one of Hydro-Man’s attacks. Spider-Man was close enough to the ground that he was able to break the fall by diving into a roll. He then turned around to see Hydro-Man looming over him, expanding his body to block all paths of escape.

“HEY, SPIDER-MAN!!” shouted Jessica from the top of Worthington Hall, waving the manhole cover from before in the air, “PULL!”

Jessica flung the manhole high into the sky. Spider-Man knew just what to do. He fired a web over Hydro-Man’s shoulder, latching it onto the manhole cover. Hydro-Man’s enormous hand was coming down on Spider-Man’s head now.

“Ha...Ha...Missed…”

“Not quite,” said Spider-Man, pulling back on the manhole cover.

Spider-Man yanked the heavy disc straight toward him. He shifted his position and adjusted the web, causing the manhole cover to hit the nucleus directly on its way through, pulling it out of Hydro-Man’s body with it.

“Noooooooooo….” moaned Hydro-Man as he started to lose shape.

Soon he had collapsed into an enormous downpour on the quad, leaving only the pulsing nucleus at Spider-Man’s feet. Spider-Man looked at the nucleus, tilting his head.

“Well,” he said, “I guess that means he’s alive. Dead things don’t pulse, right?”

***

“Thank God you two are alright,” smiled Madeline, pulling her soaking wet daughters in close.

“You’re a special kind of brave, MJ,” said Peter.

“Spider-Man’s the one who saved the day,” she smiled back.

“Yeah but he’s got powers,” said Peter, “You risked your life without any. That takes guts.”

“Well Jessica certainly helped,” said Mary Jane.

“Yeah, I’ll take credit for that,” smirked Jessica.

Peter, Mary Jane, Gayle, Madeline, and Jessica had finally all met up. Hydro-Man had been defeated only minutes earlier, with his “body” being carted away by the authorities.

“I didn’t know you were friends with a super,” said Madeline, looking at Jessica.

“Yeah, well,” shrugged Jessica.

“Thank you for saving my girls,” smiled Madeline.

“...you’re welcome,” said Jessica after a moment of awkward silence.

“I’m sorry about all this,” frowned Peter to Madeline, “You came all the way out here and I just kept disappearing on you.”

“Oh please,” dismissed Madeline, “Even if I were mad at you for that, this whole supervillain business would have gotten in the way anyway.”

“I suppose so.”

“Come on, Gayle,” said Mary Jane, “Let’s dry off. You can borrow some of my dry clothes.”

“Well I don’t know about any of you,” sighed Madeline, “But I’m spent for the day. I’m going home. Gayle, did you want to come after you change?”

“I’ll catch you later, Mom,” said Gayle, “I want to hang out with MJ a bit more.”

“Sure thing,” said Madeline, giving each of her daughters a kiss on the head, “Love you both.”

The four watched Madeline walk off. Once she was out of sight, Gayle forced Mary Jane to turn away from her, reached into her damp jeans, and hoisted her soaking wet boyshorts up to her shoulder blades, straining the red fabric. Peter winced as Jessica began to cackle.

“GAYLE!” squealed Mary Jane, “What was that for!?!”

“For not telling me you were dating Spider-Man!” hissed Gayle quietly.

“It’s… kind of a secret,” said Mary Jane trying to force the fabric back into her pants.

“Whatever,” scoffed Gayle.

“I like this kid,” laughed Jessica, “Let’s hang out with her more often!”

“Told you you already knew what it was like to have an older sister,” grumbled Mary Jane to Peter, still trying to dislodge the sopping wet cotton from her butt.

**Author's Note:**

> that classic "Madeline Watson Lives" tag amiright?


End file.
